Zippers and Buttons and Bows

Learning to zip zippers, button buttons, and tie bows are three fairly major challenges for young children.  When a mother has several young children, one of the first things she looks forward to is the day when the babies are potty trained and she doesn't need to deal with diapers any longer.   Some of the next milestones that she looks forward to is when a child learns to dress themselves, and a big part of that is learning to zip up zippers, button buttons, and tie their own shoes. 

The Joy School preschool curriculum that we used in our home with all of our children devoted an entire section to the Joy of Goal Striving:  setting and reaching goals.  During that month each mother and each pre-schooler is encouraged to set a goal for the month, take the time to work towards that goal every day, and to make a chart to mark their progress in reaching that goal.  Some of the suggested goals for the children are learning to zip their own coat or tie their own shoes.  There are songs and stories in the curriculum that teach and remind both children and adults that we can set goals, we can do hard things, it is good for us to keep trying and practicing and to not give up on our worthwhile goals, and that achieving goals brings Joy!

This month one of my goals has been to participate in the A to Z challenge and record some of my favorite memories of being a mother.  And now, I am happy to say, I think I have met my goal!

What is a goal that you are working on right now?

What is a goal that has brought you Joy?

Yes!

One word that young children learn very quickly is the word NO.  As parents there are so many dangers that we feel we need to protect our children from, and so many values that we need to teach them.  Some days  it seems like we are always saying the No word to the kids. "No, you can't play outside right now."  "No you can't touch the stove when it's hot."  "No, you can't eat cookies before dinner."  "No, it's too cold to wear shorts and flip flops."    "No, you can't go and play until your homework and chores are done."

As a mother I easily tired of saying no, so would try to find things that I could say YES to.   " Yes, you can play inside with the Legos."   "Yes, we can bake cookies after we eat our lunch."   "Yes, we can go out and build a snowman after we put on our snow pants and coats and gloves and boots."  "Yes, I can help you study your spelling words."  "Yes, you did do a wonderful job setting the table!"

Am I a perfect mother?  Of course not.   Did I always find the positive way to present things and look at things?   No, I'm afraid not.

 Do I love being a mother?  Am I proud of each of my six kids?  Absolutely and positively YES and YES!

X Marks The Spot

Source:Treasure Map Clip Art from www.clipartlogo.com

Treasure hunts were popular activities at our house, and several of the kids birthday parties featured a hunt for buried treasure.   Usually a series of written clues was prepared before hand, and the guests were divided into two groups, or maybe just one, and given the first clue which would lead them to the location where the next clue was hidden.  Sometimes there was even a map!  When the treasure was found, sometimes buried in the garden and sometimes in another secret inside location, the stash of candy and trinkets would be divided among the participants.

Usually after such an activity, at least several of the kids and their friends would plan their own treasure hunt for other siblings or friends.   Filling a box or other container with messages and important objects, then burying them as a "time capsule"  was another favorite activity.

There have been several times when as a family activity we have written letters to our future selves, and sealed them up in an envelope to be opened in five or ten years.    It is always interesting to open up the letter years later and to see the thoughts and goals and other predictions that had been written by your former self years before.   In fact, I have one such envelope sitting on my desk right this very minute:

Family Time Capsule

December 2009 to December 2019

Does anyone remember what's inside?

Have you ever searched for buried treasure?   

Have you ever buried a treasure or a time capsule?

 Have you ever written a message to your future self?

Work and Chores

Work and chores are an important part of family life.   It takes a lot of work to run a household, keep the house and clothes clean, provide meals, and care for the yard and garden.  When children are young, they love to help Mom and Dad, so that's the best time to start teaching them how to work and take responsibility.   We have had different variations of chore charts throughout the years, and our kids have always been responsible for making their own beds, cleaning their own rooms, clearing their own dishes from the table, and doing other chores around the house each week.   Young children also love helping in the garden, and we've always tried to give each child their own little garden plot to be responsible for planting and weeding.  Each child has had a turn mowing lawns, doing laundry, dusting and vacuuming, taking out the trash, cooking dinner, moping floors, and cleaning bathrooms.   Some assigned chores were just expected, and others could earn the kids a bit of extra money

.With six kids, our home has never been a showcase or a model of pristine cleanliness, but I believe that each one can do a fairly decent job of running a household on their own.   The kids also helped with stripping wallpaper, putting up sheet rock, painting, and other jobs when we bought and remodeled our own home, and have earned money helping with the cleaning and filing and paperwork of the family business.

 

DS1 was the first of the children to get a job outside of the family, and spent several years folding and delivering newspapers weekday afternoons and weekend mornings.  Rain, sleet, heat, and snow did not keep him from his rounds.  DS2 soon followed in his footsteps, and for a few years we had two paper routes in the family. 

 Mom and sisters helped out when the boys were at scout camps, and the girls also had their share of babysitting jobs.   As they grew older there were part time jobs at scout camps, the library and at call centers.   During college years they found more jobs at libraries, tutoring, as teacher's aids and lab assistants,  custodial work, serving banquets, cashiering at gift shops, snack shops, and even the local planetarium.

What chores have you or your children done during the years?

What were your first paying jobs?

Vacations

Vacation time with kids is always fun, and builds wonderful memories.   Most of our first vacations when the kids were small were spent traveling across the country to visit grandparents and cousins.  When Mom is to be flying across country alone with three small children, extra-ordinary measures must be taken, especially when a plane change is necessary.  Hence the Baby Bear harness being worn by the Dear Son in the photo below.  We actually had one for each of the boys, and DD1 wasn't walking much at the time.

Visiting Grandparents in the summer time meant picnics and hiking in the mountains:

and playing with cousins in grandma's backyard wading pool.

Of course when the grandparents came to visit us, we would visit fun places too, like Ellis Island,

The Statue of Liberty:

And the World Trade Center:

Sometimes we would go camping with our friends from church:

We loved visiting Washington DC and walking along the Mall:

 

and Exploring the Smithsonian museums.

 But the favorite activity for the kids was riding the Carousel:

We have also taken the kids on trips to Niagara Falls, Chicago, Cape May and the New Jersey Shore, Gettysburg, Philadelphia and other fun spots, but Mom of Six often forgot to bring the camera!   When we moved back across the country, closer to the Grandparents, there were even more trips with extended family and sometimes just with our own kids, sometimes camping in tents and sometimes staying in cabins or motels.  Yellowstone, Jackson Hole, Bear Lake, Lake Tahoe, Zions and Bryce Canyons, hunting trilobites and geodes in the desert, and following the Pony Express trail.  

And always, whenever possible, swimming!

What are your favorite family vacation memories?

University

 As you might be able to infer from these two photos, DH and I started indoctrinating our kids at a very young age about continuing their education after high school at a college or university .  Of course we do have an obvious fondness for our own Alma Mater, but tried not to  unduly influence the kids on their own choice of where to apply and attend college.  Both DH and I were blessed to be able to complete our degrees without incurring any debt, and for the most part I loved my years at the university. Our children have attended seven different universities over the past decade and a half, and although most applied to our school, only three of the six children ended up attending the old Alma Mater.   A year ago our DD4 graduated with her BA degree, and at present count the members of our immediate family have earned six BS degrees, two BA degrees, three MS degrees, and one PhD in a wide variety of fields:   Computer  Science, Food Science and Nutrition, Psychology, Math, Computer Engineering, Biochemistry, Communications, Fine Arts,  and Library and Information Science.

Are we proud of our kids?  You betcha!  That's why I'm bragging about them right now.  Do we claim the credit?  Absolutely not.  Yes, we did read to our kids and we took them to the library.  We encouraged them to do their homework, but we didn't do it for them.  We did away with the TV for a decade and set limits on computer game time.   We encouraged them to take advantage of Advanced Placement and Concurrent Enrollment classes during High School where they could earn college credit.  We provided books and computers and school supplies during the years they lived at home, and occasionally a loan while they were away at school, but the children all have paid their own way through scholarships and grants and part time jobs, internships and/or loans.

I'll take a minute here to state that I do realize that a university or college education might not be the best choice for everyone, and that there are many other ways to learn a trade and to receive an education.  I also feel very strongly that a young person should not incur a huge debt in order to receive an education.  There is no reason that someone should need to spend most of their working life paying for their college education.  But I do believe that everyone should do their best to receive the best education that they possibly can, and to continue learning and developing their talents all throughout their lives.  

Have you had the opportunity to attend a college or university?  What are your educational goals?

Television

 

When DH and I first married, we had an old TV that he had inherited from somewhere, we don't remember exactly where now.   We didn't watch much TV back then as I was going to school and doing homework and taking care of our new little home.  

 Shortly after DS1 was born we moved across the country, far away from family and friends.   We found another cute little apartment in the home of a very wonderful retired couple, but it was rather isolated on a country road and we only had one car.  As a new young mother I found that I had the Television on for many hours during the day to keep me company.  When the old TV died, we splurged on a new one, and my poor babies grew up watching TV.    They soon made their preferences well known, and wouldn't tolerate watching soap operas or talk shows.   Yes we did watch some Sesame Street and Mr Rodger's Neighborhood, but their favorites as pre-schoolers were the game shows, especially "The Price is Right",  "Wheel of Fortune"  and "Jepoardy".  If you ever watched "The Price is Right" with Bob Barker as host,  you might remember a game called Plinko.  The contestant is given between 1 and 5 large plastic plinko chips depending on how well they have guessed the correct prices of several small items.   They then climb a set of stairs to the top of the large Plinko board which is made up of a field of pegs offset from each other, spaced far enough apart for the Plinko chips to pass between.  The contestant drops each of his chips, one at a time, into the game board, and the chips fall down into one of 9 slots, each marked with a different dollar amount, and the contestant wins whatever money his chips total up to.  Plinko was DS1's very favorite game, and he devised a way to play Plinko by dropping several plastic disks or chips that were in his toy box down the back of our overstuffed easy chair rocker.  The big buttons  holding the upholstery acted as the Plinko pegs and diverted the chips in different directions.  This was great fun!

There were a few years when Dad and Mom of Six would take extra care to get the kids all into bed before 9 pm on certain nights so we could relax together and watch our favorite current show.  Hill Street Blues and LA Law were a few of our favorites back then. 

We did try to limit the amount of TV time, especially as the kids grew older and began school.   Homework and music practice and chores were to be done before the TV was turned on, and each child was to choose one show per day.  Of course, with four or five kids, that meant there was still plenty of screen time!  And of course we soon bought a VCR and started a collection of movies and shows on VHS.  After we received a Nintendo Game System for Christmas one year, the attraction and competition for TV time became even greater, and there were often arguments about whose turn it was to choose a program or to play a game.   One evening Dad of Six arrived home from work to find Mom of Six rather frazzled and children arguing over the TV.  He was even more frustrated when he realized that the very episode of the TV show in question, "Saved By The Bell"  had already been viewed by the kids earlier in the day.  Solution to the problem?   Dad cut of the TV power cord.   Our family no longer had a functioning TV, and it was eventually given away.   

Yes, we remained the family without a television for nearly 10 years.   We still had computers, one for Dad and one for Mom and the kids, but we had to share and take turns, both for homework and for computer games.   DD3 was just a toddler and DD4 was not even born yet, so they basically grew up without watching TV.  When Dad upgraded to a computer with a DVD player, we were able to gather around the computer sometimes on the weekends to watch a rented movie, and then we slowly started collecting our own DVD's.   Mom of Six finally broke down and talked Santa into bringing a new TV for Christmas one year so that she could watch the winter Olympics in 2002, and slowly the TV watching habits returned, but by this time the kids had so many other interests and activities that it was not a huge problem any longer.  And now as adults they all have their own televisions, laptops and other devices available to be able to see just about anything they care to find and/or pay for.

And what about today?    We don't have cable TV and we don't have Satellite TV.  The old television in the family room isn't equipped to receive today's TV signals, but is still hooked up to a functioning VCR so whoever is using the exercise bike can watch old movies.  Several years ago one of the kids gifted Dad of Six with a used large screen TV for the living room, and then later another child gifted him with a Roku streaming player.  We still very rarely watch traditional TV, but have found it entertaining to catch up on some of the old TV shows and movies we have missed through Netflix and Amazon. 

Does your family watch Television?   What have been some of your favorite TV shows?

Temples

Almost thirty five years ago, my DH and I formed our family unit as we were married and sealed together through the power of God's priesthood, not just for all time, but for all of eternity, in one of God's Holy Temples.  Because of this sealing ordinance, each of our six children are also sealed to us, and we are an eternal family unit.   Even though we may be separated by great distances at times during this life, and eventually separated by death, we will once again be reunited as a family unit in the heavens.   Because of this, temples are very important to us as a family.

We make it a practice to attend Sabbath Day meetings at our local meeting house every Sunday, where we remember our Savior's atonement, sacrifice, death, and resurrection by partaking of the bread and water of the Sacrament ordinance, promising to keep His commandments and to always remember Him.  We also meet together with others who believe as we do, teaching and learning from the scriptures and from each other.

Latter Day Saint Temples  are different from the meeting houses where we hold our weekly meetings.   Marriages are performed there, but other sealing ordinances are performed by proxy by worthy members in behalf of deceased family members who may not have had the opportunity to receive these ordinances for themselves.  DH and I have tried to return to the temple as often as possible to participate in these ordinances, and also to be in a place where we can feel closer to the presence of God and draw personal inspiration from the spirit that is found in The House of the Lord.
We have also taken our children with us as often as possible, even though children are not allowed to enter for temple worship until they reach the age of twelve, unless they are participating in a sealing ordinance to their own parents and family.   It is our hope that our children will each have the desire to visit the temple often, to feel the closeness to heaven and the spirit that can be found there, and to participate in the learning and in the service to their ancestors that can happen in Holy Temples of God.  When the oldest children were young, the closest temple to us was in Washington DC:

"From the very beginning, there have been sacred places upon the earth where God has communed with His children.  They were designated by God and hallowed by His presence as places where He would tech and bless His children.  Many of these places are recorded in the scriptures.  The Garden of Eden was surely a sacred place where Adam and Eve dwelt in the presence of the Father and the Son and were able to converse with Them directly.  After the Fall and their subsequent expulsion from the garden, Adam built an alter to worship God and offer sacrifices as they were commanded.   Their prayers were heard and their lives blessed.

As Moses approached the burning brush on Mount Sinai, the Lord instructed him to "put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground"--sacred ground where the Lord would instruct Him and offer covenants for His people.

Centuries later, the Savior would lead Peter, James, and John up the Mount of Transfiguration where they would experience marvelous manifestations and receive the keys of the kingdom of heaven.   There they were visited by Moses and Elijah and heard the voice of the Father bearing witness that Jesus is His beloved Son."

Source:  Why Latter-Day Saints Build Temples

In the words of our living, latter-day prophet:

"We invite all of God's Children . . .  to come unto the Savior and enjoy the blessings and benefits of their temple and have everlasting life [and] joy."

President Russell M. Nelson

President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

School, Sports, and Other Activities

As mentioned in my earlier Joy School post that we participated in a preschool program where a group of neighbors and friends take turns hosting and teaching the preschool curriculum (two days a week) in their own homes.  Sometimes we had an active group to participate with, and sometimes it was just Mom and our own kids. 

When it came time for kindergarten, however, each child was enrolled in the local public school to begin their school career.   I have known quite a few families who have taught one or more of their children at home for a year or two or more, and I support their decisions and applaud their dedication and efforts to educating their children.  For our family, we have always felt that in spite of the various problems different public school institutions might have, our children have overall had a better, more well rounded educational and social experience, and are better prepared to face the challenges of living in the world.   Some have taken additional classes online or through community education programs, and we've tried to provide opportunities for each of the children to participate in other extra-curricular activities as well.

I am usually the Mom who forgets to bring the camera or if she has the camera forgets to take the picture, or if she takes the picture, it ends up blurred or shows children with non-ideal facial expressions, or even worse, a thumb or finger taking up half of the screen.  I did try to take first day of school photos on several occasions, and bless them!!  Several of our kids' teachers were kind enough to take first day of school photos of the students in their classes and sent them home!

Riding the school bus for the first time is always an adventure!

There are always new friends to meet the first day of school.

I love teachers who love to read, celebrate reading and provide special places to read!

DD3's kindergarten teacher red the story "The Red Balloon" to the class on the first day of school, and then presented each child with a red balloon to bring home!   She'll never forget her first day of school.

We can't forget to mention that the weeks before school started were busy finding new backpacks, lunch boxes, school supplies, and a special outfit to wear on the first day.  

After school and a snack it was homework and practice time.  In the first years of elementary school homework were usually pretty easy to finish, and their was usually plenty of time to play.

All of the kids participated in a science fair project or two or three or more.  We had some pretty interesting and diverse ideas, including How Do Plants Grow,  What can you identify just by the sense of taste, and Measuring the density of different items.

We encouraged the kids to participate in sports and other activities when the opportunity presented itself.  Dad of six kids has a great love for soccer, and all of the kids played and most even became certified to referee youth soccer games at some point.  DS2 played soccer for many years.

We tried gymnastics one summer

T-Ball

Basketball

Ballet

Cub Scouts

and Boy Scouts.  

And this is just the beginning.  We were also involved with school plays, musicals, math counts competitions, school Academic Team competitions  (including several national championships!),  music lessons, 4-H, and Art shows, horseback riding lessons / . . .  I'm sure I've forgotten something.

What school and community activities have you and your family been involved with?