Extended Family

 

Extended Family has always played an important part in my life, and I posted a bit about my extended family last year for the letter F while blogging about blessings and tender mercies.  I also posted about my Grandparents back in 2016 when I blogged about my childhood memories.  I was very blessed to grow up living next door to my paternal grandparents, and we often had cousins visiting for holidays and weekends, and coming to stay and help out on the farm during the summer haying season. 

My maternal grandparents split their time between their summer home about 2 hours away from our family farm, and their winter home about 8 hours to the south, but we still did gather together every summer to visit and eat and catch up on all of the happenings with each individual family.  We sometimes would take our vacations to the cities where my uncles lived and spend time with cousins there.  And of course there were also Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations with different families each year.

My cousins were probably my best friends outside of my siblings during my childhood, but as time moved me into my high school years, the dynamics changed quite a bit.  As one of the youngest of the children on both sides of the family, by the time I was a teenager, my grandparents were facing health struggles, many of the older cousins were married and starting families of their own, and we younger cousins were busy with extracurricular activities and jobs and school.   My Aunts still visited often, especially as my grandparents needed more help, but the frequent visits and long summer days spent playing with cousins pretty much ended.  Instead there were many weddings, graduations, missionary farewells and welcome homes  (in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, it is traditional for young men and many of the young women to serve an 18 to 24 month service and teaching mission between graduating from high school and getting married).  And, as happens in all families, there were also funerals.  

My first experience with having a close family member pass away was when I was in sixth grade, and my cousin and his newly wed wife were killed in a car accident while they were on the way for his weekend duty in the air force reserves. It was a shock for the entire extended family, as he was a much loved cousin and one of the first to marry.  Without the faith in the resurrection of Jesus Christ and his gift of salvation and eternal life for all men and women, I'm sure our grief would have been even greater.

My paternal grandmother was the first of my grandparents to pass away, the day after my 12th birthday.  She had fallen and broken her hip or leg, and had spent some time in the hospital and was doing well, but then developed pneumonia, had a stroke, and passed on a few days later.   My grandfather continued to live alone in the house next door for the next four years.  He would come for Sunday dinner, and my Mom would send him home with a homemade TV Dinner of leftovers to heat up later during the week.  Daddy would of course check in with him every day, and my Aunts were frequent visitors to check in on him and help out with the seasonal cleaning.   One of them was visiting on the day he passed away.  He had gone to lie down for a nap on the living room couch where he had a heart attack and was quickly gone.

My maternal grandmother passed away a few months before my father's father.   She had been diagnosed with diabetes and had been failing in health for quite some time.  So I lost three of my grandparents within about four years of each other during my early to mid teenaged years.  My grandfather lived for another 18 years, remarried an old friend, and outlived her by quite a few years.  He passed away when I was a young mother living on the other side of the country and I was unable to attend his funeral, which was one of the hardest times for me during those years.

Though death is a hard thing, I believe it is not the end, and that our family relationships can be eternal and ever lasting.   Though I don't see my extended family nearly as much as I did when I was young, I still stay in touch with most of my cousins and my one remaining aunt through social media, and the occasional family reunion or funeral or other event.  I'm too tired right now to count, but my extended family now numbers in the hundreds with all of the children, spouses, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even great-great grandchildren of my seven aunts and two uncles.  A grand posterity for both sides of my beloved family tree!

What memories do you have of your extended family?

Drill Team, Drama, Driver's Ed, Dances and Dates

 

Drill Team was probably my very favorite activity during my high school years.  I have always loved to dance, but there weren't many opportunities for dance classes in my small town/rural area.  I did have a few baton twirling and dance class lessons during elementary school, but always looked forward to trying out for and participating with the  high school drill team during their half-time performances at the football and basketball games.  I'm not particularly coordinated or talented when it comes to dancing, as much as I do love it, so even though I practiced hard and prepared my best for the try-outs for my freshman year, I didn't make the team.  To be honest, most freshmen didn't make the team.  But my friends and I tried once again for our sophomore year.   Again none of my group made the team.   Near the end of the summer, the girl's coach and advisor for the drill team contacted me to tell me that one of the members was not going to be able to participate, and so if I wanted it, I had a spot on the team!  I was torn, but had not saved up or prepared for the expenses of the uniform etc, nor had my friends made the team, so I gave up my spot to a younger freshman girl.  My family thought I was crazy since they knew how much I wanted to participate, but I didn't ever regret my decision, and the following year my best friends and I all made the team!  We sewed our own uniforms, had daily after school practices in addition to a full class period which counted as a PE credit, of course, and were able to travel on the bus to all of the away games for both football and basketball.  This was actually quite an amazing experience now that I look back on it, since as a rural community we competed against all of the other small rural schools all over our state, and we were able to travel and see many areas that my city born husband never experienced while growing up in the same state.  These were very small towns, mind you, but still an amazing experience to have growing up.

Drama was also an activity that I was able to participate in several years.  I did sign up for the Drama class with my friends during our freshman year, and participated in speech and drama meets throughout our region, doing readings or short one act performances.  We were also required to participate in the school plays.  If we didn't get a part in the play, we would help out with the sets, sound and lighting as part of the stage crew.  I did have very small parts in most of the plays, but really had a hard time breaking out of my shell to give a true performance.  But that's ok.  It was fun to be a part of the group, and to see all of the drama that happened both on and off the stage . . . for example when our leading lady's boyfriend happened to stop by a rehearsal one afternoon just in time to see her kiss her romantic interest.  It was a part of the play of course, but her boyfriend was definitely not happy about it!

Driver's Ed was also a rite of passage.  It was actually a fairly easy class both academically and for most of us the driving part was pretty easy too since we grew up driving tractors and trucks hauling hay in the fields.   So it was especially mortifying when I didn't pass my driving test.  The driving examiner would visit our small town once each month to administer the tests in the school owned Driver's Ed vehicle.   I was being so very careful to follow all of the rules of the road, and was shocked when after the test the examiner told me I had failed because I didn't brake fast enough when he told me to brake!  I'm sure there was something else that I had lost points on, but I was terribly embarrassed since the whole school knew that I had failed.  (That's just how it is in a small town where everyone knows everything that happens!)  My Driver's Ed teacher assured me that the examiner routinely failed someone or another, just to put some fear into the student's hearts.  And yes, the next month I did pass my test, and have been driving ever since.  Well, most of the time.  I didn't ever have  a car of my own until we were married for about five years, but I have done a lot of driving over the years.

Dances are a big part of high school years, but I must confess that they haven't always been a favorite activity.   Of course I started going to dances with my friends as soon as I was old enough.  During 7th and 8th grades there were one or two dances a year at school, and several other dances at church during the year.  We didn't have dates to the dances, but met up with our friends.  I learned early on what it feels like to be a wall flower and spend the evening holding up the wall, trying to smile and act like you are having fun.  Of course few 12 and 13 year old boys are brave enough to ask the girls to dance, and the boy you have the crush on is always going to be one of the most popular boys in town.  After a few such long, long, evenings, I made the decision that I would rather spend the evenings at home with my books.  

That being said, the most important dance of the year in my small town was the Junior Prom.  Formal attire was required; if not a tux, at least a suit for the young men and a formal dress for the young ladies, and couples often double or triple dated and traveled to nearby towns or to the city for dinner before or after the dance.  The Junior class had time off from class during the week before to decorate the gym with murals, streamers, disco balls and the works.   We also were expected to all participate in the Promenade choreographed performance at the half-time of the dance and parents and other interested town folk also bought their tickets to come and see the performance.  When we were juniors our class really did work together to make sure that every person who wanted to have a date to the Junior Prom, and my best friend and our dates did go out together for dinner at a fairly nice café in the neighboring county seat  (only a 30 minute drive from our hometown) before attending the dance.  My parents patiently took me to multiple stores down in the college town to find the "perfect" foam green prom dress, (which I still have in my closet!).  This was my first date, and my only true date of my high school years.   My date and I knew each other, of course, but were both very quiet and shy, and had never really talked before, or even much during the evening.  Thank goodness for good friends and double dates!

What do you remember about learning to drive?

What were your high school dating experiences?

Choir, Chores, and Church

 

Choir was my attempt to make up for no longer being able to fit Band classes into my school schedule.  I've always loved music and love to sing, but don't always hit the notes quite on pitch.  My family can attest to that after sitting with me here at home and listening to me singing along with the Tabernacle Choir and congregation during this past weekend's  General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Hopefully I learned a few things during the year I participated in Choir, singing the Alto Harmony part.  I was a bit too shy or unconfident or reluctant to join the choir at church while I was in high school, but have since found that in spite of my singing deficiencies, no one is going to banish me from these voluntary choirs, so I have participated in church choirs most of my married life too.  At least until the Covid years.  I'm still not quite comfortable with singing unmasked in a group situation, even though numbers have been declining these past several weeks.  Maybe soon.  We will see.

Chores are a given part of life when you grow up on a dairy farm.   Of course there were the household chores that come along with being part of a functioning family, keeping your room clean and bed made and taking your turn washing dishes, washing, drying and folding laundry, setting the table, feeding the pets etc.  I also had the chore  for many years of bringing the cows home from their summer pasture every afternoon before milking, and then feeding the young calves their milk and hay and grain, washing up the feeding buckets, and sometimes feeding all of the cows their evening feeding of hay.  Many summer mornings also found me working with my siblings to hose and scrub down the concrete floors of milk barn after the morning milking, and of course, taking my turn to weed the family vegetable garden. 

Church was also a given part of all of my high school years, and all of my life.   Each Sunday morning my Dad and my older brothers would attend 9 am Priesthood Meeting, and the rest of the family would join     with them for 10 am Sunday School.  After dinner and a fairly quiet afternoon of  reading, writing letters or playing quiet games, or visiting with Grandparents and cousins next door and doing the evening milking and chores, we would return to Church at 7:30 pm for the Sacrament Meeting.   Then on another day of the week (Tuesday for the Ward or congregation where we lived) we would return for our weekly auxiliary meetings -- Primary was held at the church on Tuesday afternoons after school for children in the elementary school grades, and  Mutual lessons and activities for teenagers, Young Men and Young Women, were held on Tuesday evenings.  Relief Society lessons and activity or work days for adult women were held on Tuesday mornings.   In addition to the Sunday and week-day auxiliary meetings, we would often have sports practices and games  for basketball, volleyball, and softball, a yearly "Road Show" theater type production, yearly preparation meetings for a week long camp activity for the Young Women, (the boys participated in scouting troops) and other occasional dance or musical performances.  It makes me tired just remembering all of the Church activities we grew up participating in! 

 This split schedule has since changed, and now days congregations of The Church of Jesus  Christ of Latter-day Saints attend meetings in two hour blocks each Sunday.  The first hour is generally the Sacrament Meeting worship service with the second hour rotating between Sunday School and the auxiliary or Priesthood Meetings.  Teenagers do still gather together on a weekly basis for activities and and the women and children usually have a monthly activity too, but we seem to have a bit more time for home and family and other evening activities these days.

What kinds of chores did you have as a teenager?  

 Did you participate in Church services or activities?

Band, Basketball, and Bookworm

 

The very first extra-curricular activity that I participated in was the Jr High School Band program.  We started out during the summer before our 7th grade year by attending beginning sectional classes once or twice a week for an hour and gradually moved into meeting together with the entire band class, if I remember correctly.  I chose to learn to play the flute, and was very fortunate to have my parents purchase a flute for me to use, which I still have. During Jr High school we mainly performed  in several concerts each school year, and then in 9th grade we were able to participate with the Marching Band/Concert Band.  After my 9th grade year I chose to give up band class since it conflicted with another class I wanted to take, so I only participated with the marching band that performed in local  parades in the summer and during football and basketball games during the school year for that one year.   

Growing up in a small town, the local high school sports teams attracted quite the attendance at the regular Friday night games, especially during the football and basketball seasons  I attended games for both sports with my friends and siblings, but preferred Basketball over Football, probably because of the fast pace of the game.    People in town would joke that during the state championship playoffs the town would be so empty of people going to the city for the games that the town would completely shut down and they would roll up the streets!   I enjoyed watching the Basketball games, but I didn't really enjoy playing the sport myself.  I did play during gym class and tried to learn the basics.  WE also had a sports program at church, and I did play church basketball during junior high, but always felt that I was not a very good player, and was so nervous about letting down my team that I finally convinced my parents that I was ok to not play church ball.

I always have been just a bit of a bookworm, and that didn't change once I entered Jr High.  In fact, it might have gotten even worse during those years of insecurity and adjusting to life in a small town high school where everyone knew everyone else, and 7th graders were nervous walking down the hall that housed the upperclassmen lockers.  It was also exciting to have full access to the high school library and so many more books that we had at the elementary school library.  Biographies and historical fiction have always been among my favorites.  My best friend was a big fan of Louis Lamour, and the Black Stallion series.  I read a few of those, but I tended more towards books like the Shoe Books, or Christian romances and fiction.   My parents and siblings also were readers, especially my Mom, and our home was filled with books of all kinds, we subscribed to the Reader's Digest Condensed books, and almost always received books for birthdays and Christmas.  We also had the scholastic book club offerings in our English and Reading classes, and I almost always bought a new paper back book or two each time they came out.  After our parents passed away several years ago, one of the biggest jobs was sorting through all of their books and dividing them up between my siblings and I.  Needless to say, I still have many of these same books that I enjoyed reading all of those years ago, including some that had originally belonged to my grandparents, including several by Gene Stratton Porter, and Janice Holt Giles. 

How about you?   Did you participate in Band or Basketball during your school years?   Would you consider  yourself a Bookworm?   What were some of your favorite books or authors during your high school years?

Finding Peace and Hope -- General Conference

 I'm taking a break from blogging A to Z this weekend in order to listen to the sessions of the April  General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Please join me and thousands of others who are seeking hope and guidance and peace as we gather to listen to the words of prophets and apostles of Jesus Christ. 

    Join us for the 192nd Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/learn/ways-to-watch-general-conference?lang=eng&fbclid=IwAR0OrcrxOEG_H8Uuo4fMdC4fhMQFmP1SZG3iJZ7De57jw01G4MVYKF5uFzo

Link to Facebook Post

 Here is an Invitation from Bonnie H Cordon:

Link to Facebook video

Link to Live Sessions of General Conference

Afternoons and After School

 

Afternoons during my high school years really varied.  Since I grew up in a small community and attended a fairly small high school, grades 7 through 12 were all housed in the same school, so even though seventh and eighth graders were technically junior high, this A to Z challenge will touch on topics central to my life during all six years of junior high and high school.

During junior high, there weren't too many extra curricular activities available to the younger students, so most days I would either walk or ride the bus straight home from school.   Our closest neighbors were about 1/2 mile away, so I didn't socialize much after school either.    First stop of course would be the kitchen, where books etc would be left on the kitchen table, or sometimes on the hall shelf where homework and school books were supposed to be kept.   It was much easier though to drop them on the table while getting an afterschool snack of cookies or ice cream or a peanut butter sandwich, and usually a glass of fresh milk.   Our dinner time was usually 7pm or later after the milking and chores were done, so there wasn't too much danger of our ruining our dinner with a nice sized snack.

The rule for after school was to do our piano practicing and homework, but somehow I also remember quite a lot of TV time.  I'm not quite sure how that all worked with the TV and the Piano being housed in the same room and 2 to 4 teenagers needing to each have their own practice time.  Hmmm.  Could it be that we didn't always put in as much piano practice time as we should have done?  Probably so, especially since there were so many good after-school shows to watch . . . Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch, Batman and Robin, Andy Griffith, etc.    I do know that there were many days that I spent several hours reading a good library book after school, either lying on my bed in the room I shared with my younger sister, or curled up in one of the easy chairs in the living room where others were practicing the piano or watching TV.  There weren't very many quiet places in our home after school during my junior high school years.  Things did get quieter as each sibling in turn left home to attend college.  

By about 6:00 or 6:30 pm the cows would pretty much milked, so then it would be my chore to go out and feed the young calves their allotted milk and hay and grain and cleaning up their feeding buckets.  As my older siblings left for college I was also in charge of feeding the cows their evening hay, and once in a while helping with the actual milking, but I usually lucked out being right near the end of the line of the children, but not the very caboose.   After chores it was dinner time, and often time to take my turn setting the table and washing the dinner dishes.

During my junior and senior years of high school I was more involved in activities, so there was often an after school drill team practice or performance at a football or basketball game.  After basketball season was over there would sometimes be practices for FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) events and competitions.  But even then, it was always a wonderful feeling to be able to come home after school.

What did you do after school?

New Year 2022 -- Carry On!

 When I awoke on New Year's Day last year on January 1, 2021, I confess that my mood was not one of rejoicing and hope.   I normally take time on New Year's Day to review my thoughts and goals from the previous New Year's Day, but my heart was not in it that morning.  I didn't have the emotional energy to think about what my goals were for the year 2020, or to deal with new plans and goals for the year 2021.  After spending most of the day reading, and spending time with the family,  I finally pulled out my journal and reviewed what I had written on January 1, 2020, and I came to find that I actually had accomplished quite a few of my goals for the year 2020.  I was pleasantly surprised at the number of things I was able to accomplish in that crazy year in spite of the challenges of a world wide pandemic, earthquakes and other natural disasters, social distancing, closing of churches and temples, a very volatile political year here in the US, and my own many inadequacies.  I felt confident enough to make some simple plans and chose HANG ON!

• Continue to pray every day to learn God's will for me.
• Develop stronger Faith, Hope and Charity.
• Serve others.
• Declutter.
• Organize.
• Simplify.
• Create.

My hopes for 2021:

• Miracles
• Mercy
• God Will Prevail

So, how would I rate my life in the year 2021?  I made some progress and hope to do more of the same this year.  My hope for the year 2022 is to CARRY ON with the same goals and hopes for the year 2022, and today I wish to reflect on some of the many blessings from this past year.  There have been so many good things!

• Return to in person church meetings, including teaching the children's primary class
• Return to in person work    
• Vaccines for Covid
• Return to Temple attendance and service in October, November and December
• Birth of our 4th beautiful grandchild, and a trip to visit her and her parents
• Visits here at home from all of our children and grandchildren
• Family reunions and get togethers
• Health and Safety for our family
• DD2's new job offer so she can move closer to home
• DD3's purchase of her first home
• DD4's new job and apartment
• Dear Mother In Law's successful Hip Surgery and move to new assisted living center
• Answers to much fasting and many prayers.

Yes, let's carry on and work for an even better year in 2022, and do all we can to help build the Kingdom of God and share the Gospel on both sides of the veil.   ( see 3 Nephi chapters 21 and 22)